The introduction to The Bazaar of Bad Dreams is made entirely from recycled parts and isn’t the most auspicious welcome to King’s sixth collection of short fiction. An apologist might suggest he has said everything he has to say after 40 years of publishing, but first of all I don’t believe that, and second, if he has nothing new to add, why bother writing an introduction at all?
Anyway, to the stories…
Mile 81
King warns in his introduction that one of the stories has shades of Christine. That story is ‘Mile 81’, and it also has shades of From a Buick 8. Despite its rehashed concept, the storyline is compelling and seems to be building up to something epic – until King coughs out one of the most disappointing endings of his career. ‘Mile 81’ ties in with The Dark Tower, so fans of that series might give it a higher rating. In truth, I thought the inspiration for this story was more interesting than the story it begat*. 2/5
* While we’re on that subject: I detest King's comparatively recent preference for prefacing each story with its origin rather than conveying it at the end of the story (or the book). It's like a magician offering clues about how he performs a trick before he performs it.
Premium Harmony
This is the sort of story that only someone like King could get away with. I know from experience that a non-name writer would be told the character was "unlikable" and "hard to relate to". If a character is unlikable, so goes this wisdom, they must be a villain or get their comeuppance. Let me tell you, it's an attitude I hate. Some of the most interesting people on earth have been completely horrible, with few redeeming qualities. Quite often, such people have a lot to say about humanity, so why shouldn't they be the hero of a story?
While I wouldn't call 'Premium Harmony' fantastic, I love its protagonist: a total rotter who is so dumb and thoughtless he can’t even muster much compunction for his behaviour. He’s the sort of true-life character that neither literary nor popular fiction editors can get their heads around. 3/5
Batman and Robin Have An Altercation
A sexagenarian and his father (who suffers from Alzheimer's) get into a car crash while returning from lunch. It's a warm, human story with an economical plot and an impressive climax. The first genuinely good piece in this collection. 4/5
The Dune
A Florida man discovers a beach on tiny island, upon which is occasionally written the name of a person or persons who will soon die. It's not a terribly original idea, but it's nicely written and I think this story would have still worked if the Judge and the young lawyer who has come to amend his will (and listen to his tale of the uncanny) had a better established relationship. As it stands, the twist falls a bit flat. 2.5/5
Bad Little Kid
Another good idea gone begging. A child murderer has a final meeting with his lawyer and relates the bizarre circumstances that landed him on death row. Over the years King has ruined many a well-written and potentially excellent story by cramming in the supernatural, and this is another one. The ending is particularly irksome – it puts me in mind of those Friday the 13th movies where the bad guy just won’t die. 2/5
A Death
A rather stripped-back (for King) period piece that has overtones of The Green Mile but is thematically very different. Not a story that is going to change anyone's life, but an enjoyable read with a hard-to-predict ending. 3.5/5
The Bone Church (poem)
I’m not a fan of long-form poetry – the poets whose work I’ve enjoyed over the years (Sylvia Plath, George Seferis, Wesley McNair) tend towards brevity – and this one goes on for nearly six pages. When a poem is that long, I always think to myself, Why not write it as a story? So given my prejudice, I won’t offer any criticism of this one.
Morality
The concept for 'Morality' is intriguing: A rich but debilitated old man asks his carer to film herself performing a random act of violence in exchange for $200,000. The story proceeds well until the deed is done – from there I found the ‘violence begets violence’ consequences a tad contrived. 3/5
Afterlife
I have only enjoyed two of King's post-accident novels: Under the Dome and Revival. The latter is a weird but compelling Dickens-meets-Lovecraft consideration of what might follow death, and this story is a smaller and neater contemplation of the same subject. King envisions a simultaneously amusing and nihilistic afterlife that also has some unpleasant things to say about human nature. 4/5
Ur
A man who splits up with his girlfriend because she doesn’t like books buys a Kindle just to spite her – and discovers his new e-reader has some special abilities. This story works on a number of levels before slowing to an anti-climax that will leave most readers other than (you guessed it) Dark Tower fans unsatisfied. 3/5
Herman Wouk is Still Alive
King spends a lot of time on highways these days – he commutes between Maine and Florida twice a year – so it’s only natural that he has begun to set stories in rest areas. Ostensibly ‘Herman Wouk is Still Alive’ owes a debt to Thelma and Louise, but that’s selling it short. It’s a contemplative piece that juxtaposes the desperate existence of two dirt-poor mothers with that of two aging poets who are moving into the evening of their careers. 3.5/5
Under the Weather
There’s a little bit of Alfred Hitchcock Presents in this blackly sweet story about a man who refuses to accept the unpalatable truth about his wife. 4/5
Blockade Billy
I don’t think King has ever written a bad period piece and ‘Blockade Billy’ continues that trend (or, to use baseball parlance, King is still batting .1000). Set in the 1950s, it follows the travails of a New Jersey baseball team and the substitute catcher, ‘Blockade Billy’, whose unexpected brilliance puts them on the road to a successful season. But the soft-headed Billy also harbours a dark secret that could spell disaster for everyone. An unpretentious and convincing tale that succeeds on the strength of its characters, its nostalgic setting, and its likeable narrator. 4/5
Mister Yummy
An elderly gay man in an assisted living facility begins to see the delectable young fellow he lusted after in a club many years earlier – and he believes this ‘Mister Yummy’ is a harbinger of his death. It’s a cosy read, but there’s a sense King was aiming for something profound with this story and didn’t quite manage it. 3/5
Tommy (poem)
A nostalgic look at how King and his companions reacted to the death of a friend in the 1960s. It starts off with what one of my creative writing lecturers once derided as “chopped up prose”, but becomes more poetic as it builds up momentum. King’s yearning for those old times shimmers off the page like heat haze. 3.5/5
The Little Green God of Agony
The world’s sixth-richest man, Newsome, is injured in a plane crash and afterwards suffers chronic pain. Unsatisfied with the diagnoses from a string of doctors, he calls in a priest who claims he can “expel” the pain – much to the chagrin of Newsome's physiotherapist, who believes he could already be on his way to recovery were he not so spoiled, cowardly and lazy. Another killer premise ruined by an unnecessary diversion into the supernatural and a lame ending. 2/5
That Bus Is Another World
A young graphic artist gets stuck in traffic on his way to an important meeting and, while panicking about being late, looks up at the bus idling beside his cab and witnesses a man cutting a woman’s throat. As with ‘Mile 81’, I thought King’s inspiration for this story was far more intriguing – and thematically satisfying – than the story that resulted from it. 2/5
Obits
A derivative but nevertheless entertaining story about a young journalist who writes ‘funny’ obituaries for a trashy news website and then discovers he can kill someone if he writes an obit about them while they are still alive. An unexpectedly effective metaphor for drug addiction adds depth. 3.5/5
Drunken Fireworks
Two families living on opposite sides of a Maine lake – one a wealthy Greek clan, the other an “accidental rich” Yankee mother and son – get into an escalating war over who can create the biggest and most spectacular fireworks display on Independence Day. This is a fabulous story written purely for the joy of a good yarn. The only real misstep, to my mind, is the Native American who sells the Yankees their increasingly illegal pyrotechnics. He’s cliché in appearance – basically just John Rainbird from Firestarter reincarnated – and he speaks like some sort of left-wing parody. But he’s a minor part of the story and that’s a minor quibble. I really got a kick out of this one. 4/5
Summer Thunder
This is the kind of short, high-impact story King writes all too infrequently these days. It’s technically about a man seeing out his final days before he (and the rest of the world) succumbs to radiation poisoning after a nuclear apocalypse, but what it’s really about is the redemptive qualities of dog ownership and riding a Harley Davidson motorcycle. A memorable way to close the book. 4/5
FINAL THOUGHTS
This is a morbid collection of stories in the most literal sense – many of them are an attempt to understand the perfect conundrum that is death. Of the 20 pieces on offer, only five are duds in my opinion, which is a damned good strike rate for a man who, if he were an athlete, would be competing in the veteran’s league. In general they are very well written, with few of King’s usual weaknesses (although I did note some repeated metaphors – dandelion seed in particular). The stories that fail tend to have a poor ending in common.
In all of King’s previous short fiction collections I thought the standout stories were obvious. Picking a favourite from The Bazaar of Bad Dreams is much trickier. ‘Blockade Billy’ is the best story for story’s sake, with ‘Drunken Fireworks’ and ‘Batman and Robin Have An Altercation’ close on its heels. Among the more literary stores, ‘Afterlife’, ‘Under the Weather’ and ‘Summer Thunder’ are the most effective, even if they are a depressing trio.